The Big No: The Value of Boundaries.

I tend toward the YIN, meaning feminine, meaning soft and earthy.

Recently, I had the opportunity to express my YANG, meaning masculine, meaning strong and fiery. And it was hard and it gave me a splitting headache and vertigo and insomnia, but in the end it was GOOD.

It feels so good to say know when it’s right to say no, when saying “yes, sure, okay, why not?” has been your pattern for eons.

Give it a try:

  • “No, I will not do that.”
  • “No, I am not going there.”
  • “No, I am not going to engage in that habit/pattern/behavior/addiction anymore.”

Why not? Because our time and talent is worth more. Because we cannot and do not want to be flexible and accommodating anymore, when the other party is rigid and exclusive. Because our energy will be spent in the way we choose, from moment to moment, every day.

We all have feminine and masculine energies within us, waiting to be balanced. May we find equilibrium and the essential equality of yin and yang, of yes and no.

There are endless possibilities. May we continue to explore them.

bigno_white_550

HOW TO KNOW NO

There was a giant No.
That No rained.
That No created a tremendous blizzard.
That No made a dent on the coffee table.
That No was the greatest No of No’s in the universe.
That No showered and hailed.
That No created sunshine, and simultaneous eclipse of the sun and moon.
That No was a lady’s legs with nicely heeled shoes.
That No is the best No of all.
When a gentleman smiles, a good man.
That No is the best of the hips.
When you watch the gait of youths as they walk with alternating cheek rhythm,
When you watch their behinds,
That No is fantastic thighs, not fat or thin but taut in their strength,
Loveable or leaveable.
That No is shoulders that turn in or expand the chest, sad or happy,
Without giving in to a deep sigh.
That No is No of all No’s.
Relaxation or restraint is in question.
Nobody knows that Big No,
But we alone know that No.
This No is in the big sky, painted with sumi ink eternally.
This Big No is tattooed on our genitals.
This Big No is not purely freckles or birthmark,
But this Big No is real Big No.
Sky is blue,
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
And therefore this Big No is No.
Let us celebrate having that monumental No.
The monolithic No stands up and pierces heaven;
Therefore, monolithic No also spreads vast as the ocean.
Let us have great sunshine with this No No.
Let us have full moon with this No No.
Let us have cosmic No.
The cockroaches carry little No No’s,
As well as giant elephants in African jungles—
Copulating No No and waltzing No No,
Guinea pig No No,
We find all the information and instructions when a mosquito buzzes.
We find some kind of No No.
Let our No No be the greatest motto:
No No for the king;
No No for the prime minister;
No No for the worms of our subjects.
Let us celebrate No No so that Presbyterian preachers can have speech impediments in proclaiming No No.
Let our horses neigh No No.
Let the vajra sangha fart No No—
Giant No No that made a great imprint on the coffee table.

-Chögyam Trungpa, January 1979

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