babarThis is not what I posted on February 5, 2014.

This is a revision.

Life is a constant process of revision, is it not?

So, the backstory…

I started writing for elephant journal four years ago, in October 2010. About a year an a half ago, Waylon Lewis, elephant’s editor-in-chief, generously started offering an incentive system and thereby paying writers based on our views per month.

On Friday, January 31, I submitted my monthly view count total. I thought the deadline was February 1, since, previously, the monthly deadline had always been by noon on the 1st of the month.

I’d worked hard and written a ton and was set to earn $400. I was pretty proud of myself. Then, I promptly received an email reply from the managing editor saying that I was late and would receive $0. This happened to be the very last day of my four-month unpaid apprenticeship for the site, which involved biweekly group meetings, editing, publishing and sharing articles on social media.

I argued and asked for an exception to be made for me and another apprentice who made the same error. The whole thing blew up fast as soon as I logged in to Facebook and joined in on a chain of comments on a group post that ended with Waylon saying he wanted to part ways. He contacted me privately later. We cleared the air, some. He did pay me the $400, which I appreciated. However, I was no longer welcome.

A few days later, I wrote a blog (this blog) called “The Shocking Truth: Why I No Longer Write for Elephant Journal.” I explained the situation from my point of view at the time, and I attacked elephant journal.

A month later, a friend of mine from back home in Texas read the aforementioned attacking post and took it upon herself to email elephant journal and bitch at them on my behalf—unbeknownst to me. At which point, Waylon wrote a post publishing her email, chewing me out, and linking to my personal blog post. That day in March, my blog received a record number of views: 1,236. (Like I said, it’s miniscule.)

I changed my post’s privacy to password-protected, and no one but me had the password. (No one ever asked me for it, either, though this post continues getting hits every month. In fact, it’s the 6th most popular post of all-time on this blog.)

Elephant’s post about me disappeared into the ether that same day. I wrote my friend, the instigator, and she felt terrible about causing the drama. She realized that she had reacted irrationally and that irrational reactions were a pattern in her life.

I started writing for elephant again in May and have earned money for my efforts for all but one of the past five months.

Today, I made this post public again and revised it to what you’re now reading.

The air needed to be cleared. I fucked up. I made mistakes. I have learned from them.

I am publicly, officially sorry for any harm I may have caused to elephant journal through my un-mindful reactions and actions earlier this year. I hope to be forgiven.

Related posts:

You should write for elephant journal.

Why I’m Writing.